Three Ways to Help Kids Develop a Positive Self Identity

Experiences are our greatest teachers. They shape how we treat others, how we see the world around us, and how we view ourselves. How we view ourselves is also known as our self identity and is defined as the qualities and potential you possess. It can influence the choices you make, the attitude you have day-to-day, and ultimately, it becomes your inner voice. For youth especially, a positive self identity can have a massive impact on who they become as adults. There are many ways parents can help their kids develop a positive self identity, and at First Tee we pride ourselves in nurturing a positive self identity for youth. Here are three ways you can help your kids develop a positive self identity inspired by our core values. 

Live Your Values

Kids watch and learn from the adults in their lives every day. Studying their actions and responses, they develop their identity based on their guardians and the other mentors in their life. If you live according to the values you want your kids to have, then they are more likely to absorb that into their own independent lives. That being said, having a mentor is a great way to ensure this happens. At First Tee,youth learn from their coaches by:

  • Treating others with respect and honesty 
  • Experiencing the value of teamwork, not just by being told to act as a team but by witnessing their coach lead with teamwork. 
  • Watching their coaches exercise positive self talk and kindness to others around them brings out the best in themselves and their self identity.  

Create a Culture of Acceptance

When there is no room for failure there is no room for growth. Fostering an environment that is not only safe for kids to fail but encourages them to try again, helps kids develop a strong sense of self. Acceptance also transcends just failure; it also means that every person, regardless of their background, is welcome. We work together to actively create a space of belonging for every kid— no matter what walk of life. Through example we encourage youth to accept their team members for who they are, treat each other with kindness, and create that culture of acceptance everywhere, so that when they reflect on themselves and their own identity they treat themselves with the same level of respect and positivity that they give others.

Empowerment Through Experiences

For kids, experiences shape their inner voice that gives them confidence and character. Not all experiences in life are easy, and when we empower youth to persevere and stay true to themselves, we bring out the best that’s inside of them. First Tee exists to enable kids to build the strength of character that empowers them through a lifetime of new challenges. As time goes on, that empowerment creates a strong sense of self, and encourages a positive self identity even in difficult situations. 

Though a positive self identity may seem like something only some people are born with, it is really something that can be cultivated through leading by example, an open culture of acceptance, and consistent empowerment through all experiences. What do you want your child’s inner voice to sound like when they grow up? Nurturing their self identity can make all the difference in that. We guide kids and teens to strengthen what’s inside and put it into action. If you are interested in getting your child involved with First Tee, you can learn more and sign up today! 

JP Ray – First Tee Alumnus

What happens when you provide free programs? The results are game-changing. 

With support from Southern Hills Country Club, host of this week’s PGA Championship, First Tee – Tulsa provides free character-building programs to everyone who walks through their door. JP Ray is one of many participants impacted by the program.

Developing Positive Mental Health

May is Mental Health Awareness Month – a great time to check in with yourself and consider how you might be able to support others. 

“Showing up for others means that you are there for someone when they need you,” explained Emma Laker, a participant with First Tee — Greater Cincinnati & Northern Kentucky. “You show kindness by helping others and not just thinking of yourself. You give people the respect they deserve.” 

Mental health challenges can affect anyone – from professional golfers to friends and family. In 2019, a third of high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  

All of that is to say: If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. 

Be there for your team and ask for help when you need it 

Emma said it feels good to have people she can count on. “It shows me that I am surrounded by friends and family that love me no matter what. I can look up to my friends and family to help me through the rough times,” she said. 

Who is on your go-to team? Maybe it’s family, friends, teachers and coaches. Building strong relationships is one of the best strategies for improving your mental health, according to the CDC. 

Game Changers seek out good groups of people that lift them up and allow them to feel safe to be themselves. 

If you’re feeling alone, there are organizations that can help

Talk about your feelings 

It takes lots of courage to speak out about mental health issues you may be facing. By sharing your challenges, you’re not only helping yourself but others, too.  

Recently prominent members of the sports world, from Simone Biles to Michael Phelps, have talked about their own struggles and the importance of destigmatizing mental health challenges. No one should feel embarrassed or scared to acknowledge the difficulties they’re facing. 

Talking about your problems is the best way to find help! Some mental health situations do require bigger interventions, which is why it’s important to talk to adults about how you’re feeling. 

Develop a healthy mindset 

As we’ve all seen over the last few years, there are periods when unexpected challenges appear. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many kids experienced the difficulties that come with virtual school, family financial troubles and even losing loved ones.  

Fortunately, there are ways to help prepare for tough times.  

  • Stay positive: Don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go perfectly and take a few moments to feel proud of your victories – no matter how small. 
  • Do your best: Giving your best effort helps you realize your capabilities. 
  • Give back: Emma volunteers at her church and school, and it feels amazing, she said. “I realize how extremely lucky and blessed I am to have all the love and support of my family and friends. When I am helping others, I feel like I am giving them some of my joy and happiness.” 
  • Take ownership: It’s normal to feel anxious sometimes but remember that you have control over many of the challenges you face. Practicing problem solving tools like STAR – Stop, Think, Anticipate, Respond – can help you feel empowered when future difficulties arise.